Fitting In: Part II

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On further review, it appears that the Cutting Edges Gay Hockey Team are NOT, as it turns out, Vancouver's hockey team. Apparently these guys are.

Aw c'mon, it's an easy mistake to make. We're different sides of the globe, people.

One of the things that looked interesting on the Canucks website was this strange and frankly silly-sounding thing called a "blog" (hope I spelt that right). It seems that this particular "blog" does something that is called "live-blogging", which, I think, means that it watches hockey games and writes down what is happening. Which is positive - it means at least one person is watching the hockey.

Well - I've analysed this "blog" and here's my interpretion of the some of the highlights of the action on the ice.

Match Report: Vancouver Cutting Edges Canucks vs. the San Jose Sharks: Thursday November 4th 2005.

Pre-Game: - Well, the Sharks played last night and lost a close game against Calgary and had flight troubles getting into Vancouver.

I just think it's terrible how restrictive airport security is these days. Yet, at the same time, the shark can be a dangerous predator. We must be alert.


Wow – the author doesn’t hold back, huh?

00:01 - Canucks win the draw


and start with their checking line

Oh, wait. My bad.

that was very good against the Blackhawks the other night.


1:13 - Not a great start, but it is still early. The big line didn’t do much and the defence looks a little tentative. Twins with Carter are on…. Let’s see what they can do.

1:45 - Carter had a nice backhander on Nabokov

A fight already! Man, these Canucks are crazy-like!

3:27 - Not a bad shift, but they still aren’t jumping on a San Jose team that has to be tired.

Jumping? On people? With SKATES on?!

7:10 - Wow, a real lack of anything to talk about…

Indeed. So I hear you guys legalised gay marriage?

8:28 - Well that didn’t take long

What, too soon?

12:35 - The pace is picking up on both sides, but the Canucks just can’t seem to get through the neutral zone with any momentum….. their passes are not crisp.

Unlike the chips.

13:34 - The Sharks just threw Kesler down in the corner, but he didn’t have the puck and there was no call from the officials…… Kerry Fraser was right there watching but didn’t make a call….

Damn you, Frasier! Why can’t you leave Canadia alone!

16:53 - Naslund springs Bertuzzi at the Sharks blueline, he beats the defenceman but makes one too many move and can’t get the shot away on Nabokov…. Bert got hit down low in the Sharks zone and limps to the Canucks bench…. Getting a bit of a neck rub, could be his back…

Wait. Hang on second.

“Bert got hit down low in the Sharks zone…”

and then…

“…limps to the Canucks bench…”

and then he is…

“…getting a bit of a neck rub, could be his back…”

His back. Or, you know, his testicles.

19:01 - Bit of scrappy play but no real chances, the Sharks are playing very defensively and clogging up the neutral zone on Vancouver…..

End 1st Period.

Too much info, ma'am.

My Friend Cheese Says - The first five minutes was like a first date, you just start by feeling each other out.

Note to self: In Canadia, first date = second base.

Start 2nd Period.

That's it! Let's leave things here, shall we?

So that's the game, and what an exciting one it was! Almost like being there - isn't technology awesome?

Incidentally, what with two-thirds of our travelling party starting accounting jobs next year, we were pleased to note that SAP are the Corporate Partners of the San Jose Sharks.

Fills me with pride, really, to know that accounting is having an impact on such a widely watched and loved game as hockey. Go San Jose!

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