Valentines Day

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We kicked off just after 9:30pm, our complementary drink tickets and t-shirts in hand. Sam's had gone all out with the drinks, offering a glass of Pilsner (cheapest beer on tap) for those of us with the guts to enter. … And they were wondering why they had more guys willing to enter than gals. Or is that a reflection of the ratio in these parts? (Somebody said it's 1:7 the other day. Some people are starting to refer to a night at Sam's as "The Sausage-fest ". Not I.) First up in the hot seat were Dave (good bloke from repairs), John (twinnie twin twin) and some guy called Steve. They were squeezed into a couch and looking pretty happy with themselves. On the other end of the partition was Hannah, from London. She was well-dressed and looking very focused. After a round of anonymised introductions from the Host, DJ Foose, they got into the questions. (Picture: Round 1 - the questions begin)

Hannah: "My worst first date experience was in Vegas, where I was asked back for a foursome. What was your worst first date experience?
"Dave: " She never showed."Audience: "Awwwww…"
John: "A mate asked me to the movies and i didn't think anything of it. It was only later I found out he was gay."
Steve: "Duh..."Hannah: "

What's the most romantic thing you've done?"
Dave: "I gave her a bunch of flowers, then we had a picnic on a mountain top while the sun set. "
John: "I once bought a drink for a girl I was trying to get onto "
Steve: "I once slept in the wet spot."

Hannah: "What was your worst sexual experience?"
Dave: "The lighting was bad and where I thought the end of the bed was… well, it was actually shadow. So I kind of put my knee where the end of the bed was… and that ended the night's activities."
John: "I slept with a fat chick once ."
Steve: "I was with a girl and her father almost walked in "

After such quality answers Hannah got to select her date for the evening. Following much heckling and finger signals from the audience Hannah settled on Contestant Number 2 – John. Woohoo, go John!

Dave did get rorted however, being first up each time he didn't have enough time to think of his answer – first off the mark each time. Then again, all credit goes to John – he was quick off the bat and seemed to just have the right comic timing for it.

But remember for all those who fancy john, apparently gay blokes come onto him, is a tight arse and he has slept with a fat chick...

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